A SHITLOAD OF MONEY

Some is good. More is better. Having the mostest is the bestest.

President Musk, The Space Nazi…

And his team of pimply-faced teenage incel DOGE Bros like to throw around big numbers… Like trillions of dollars. A trillion dollars in stacked $100 bills would reach 631 miles high, about 2.72 times around the Earth's equator.

The United States has a net worth of at least $123.8 trillion. I went to public school in Florida, so someone else will have to do the math on this to see how many times $123.8 trillion works out wrapping around the equator. But suffice to say, it is a shitload.

Also known as butt load, ass load, shit ton, fuck ton, or any one of a number of variations. But any way you slice it, it's a lot of bread.

THIS IS INFORMATION…

you didn't ask for, but is the reason independent journalism outlets like substack were invented. But with that being said….

Once upon a time, in merry old Gomorrah, an ass load was how much a donkey could carry. An ass load was almost equivalent to 8 bushels, but nobody knows how much a bushel is, or has a basket to carry it in.

BUTT WAIT, THERE’S MORE.

This brings us to butt load. A “butt” is an actual unit of measurement. It refers to a large cask used for liquids (esp. beer, wine, or water) or a specific unit of liquid measurement equivalent to 108 imperial gallons, or 491 liters. So yes, one might say that a butt load is actually a shit load, or a fuck ton… Or a metric fuck ton which is the equivalent of 2500 shit loads. (There WILL be a quiz later).

BUTT..BACK TO THE TRILLION DOLLARS.

$1 trillion in $100 bills would weigh approximately 10,000 metric tons, which is 22,046,226.2. pounds, which is actually a fuck load. And 128.3 trillion in $100 bills would be another math problem I can't do, but ultimately it could wind up being a metric fuck load.

BRAIN HURT

I don't know about you, but this is starting to give me grain damage, and even if I had a trillion seconds which is equal to 31,710 years, it still wouldn't be any more clear.

So after the commercial announcements, I leave you with a haiku.

Trillions and Trillions

Just can't make sense of it all

Gaslights are pretty