Does He Still Love Me?
Elon's bitch.
HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE…
Before VP Trump and Houseboy Vance throw the Space Nazi under the proverbial bus? Days or weeks? China could nuke an American city, and it wouldn't bother Benedict Donald as much as being overshadowed by a creepy guy who just happens to be the richest human…ever.
UNPEELED SMIRK SNOT
You can rearrange the letters of “President Elon Musk” and get “Unpeeled Smirk Snot”. What you can do with that information, I'm not exactly sure, but somehow it seems fitting. I asked AI to create an image of unpeeled smirk snot. Here’s what I got
RICHEST MAN IN HUMAN HISTORY
Until just recently, the richest man in human history was Mansa Musa, ruler of the west African Mali Empire 1312 to 1337. That area was the source of massive amounts of gold. In today's dollars, Mansa would be worth $400 billion. He made a pilgrimage to Mecca, accompanied by 12,000 slaves bearing gold, and spread so much of it around Cairo (a stop on his way) that it altered their economy for the next 12 years. What did he spend it on? Mostly Turkish and Moroccan women. Purchasing them that is. As of this month, Musk the Magnificent is worth north of $430 billion.
HOW MUCH IS 430 BILLION?
If it were seconds it would be 13,626.158 years
If it were inches it would be 6,786,616.16 miles
If they were Taylor Swift songs they would….all sound the same. (Sorry, Swifties)
Anyway you slice it, that's a lot of dough. Enough that you can buy a President for lunch money and make him your bitch.
ALMOST ENOUGH…
To pay 47’s legal bills after the upcoming four years of criming.
BECAUSE………………….
“I can’t get Doggie Donny to stop grabbing cats.”
“You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab those little critters. You can do anything.”