Twas the Trump Before XMAS
Some Christmas Eve Doggerel
‘Twas the night before Christmas at Donald Trump’s house.
Will Santa be coming to visit this louse?
The black folk were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that their kind were increasingly rare.
Melania was nestled in her separate bed,
While visions of pool boys danced in her head.
Railed up on cocaine, he can’t take a nap,
Trump went on truth social and dished up some crap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a ruckus.
Immigrants asking, “Is Trump out to ____ __?”
He thought to myself that this shouldn’t be hard.
I’m Dear Leader, I’ll call up The National Guard.
They rolled in the tanks, and the guns, and the troops.
Trump said, “Kill them all cause I don’t give two poops.”
When what to his wondering eyes should appear,
But a transgender army which he thought rather queer.
Caitlyn Jenner was leading, so lively and quick,
And she jumped through the window and punched Trump in the ____.
More rapid than eagles, more of them came,
And he knew he must find some poor saps to be blamed.
It’s Biden, Obama, and Hillary too,
And I’m still pissed Ivanka married a Jew.
The immigrants rushed to the top of the wall,
And Trump dashed away, dashed away, straight down the hall.
He hid in the basement just quaking in fear
When the Christmas Past Ghost now startled his ear.
“For all of your years, you’ve been such a shit.
And you haven’t changed, even one little bit.”
“You cheated and lied like there ain’t nothing to it
And grabbed so much p—y, claimed: They just let you do it.
A grifter, a con man, a rapist, a clown.”
The Christmas Past Ghost was layin’ it down.
Trump shook in his boots, and at first he seemed shook
When Christmas Ghost Present opened his book.
“You’re getting all ready for Trump 2.0,
An abundance of cruelty your brownshirts will show.
I’d tell you some more, but good god, what’s that smell?
Did you shit your pants, considering hell?”
Trump snorted and sniffed and then said, “Pretty please,
Could I get a deferment? I’ve got really bad knees.”
“Your fate has been sealed, I’m not sorry to say.
Expressing contrition is just not your way.”
Trump said, “You can’t touch me, it's immunity.”
The ghost said “That’s an alternate reality.”
Trump laughed (he was told to) by Big Sugar Daddy.
Though Elon, while golfing, makes him serve as caddy.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had something to dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his room,
And returned in an outfit that heralded doom.
And shoving more cocaine straight up his nose,
With his new SS outfit, he then struck a pose.
He said “You’ll regret this, I’ll make all you scum pay.
Now you’ll learn to do things the Donald Trump way.”
Then I heard him exclaim that “In just a short while,
with one armed salutes, you will all say:
“Sieg Heil.”