YOUR $8,000 IS ON THE WAY

This minute's hot innerwebs rumor

IT’S ALL OVER SOCIAL MEDIA

You can find many hopeful Maggats exuberant over the fact that The Space Nazi is going to give every American $8000.

USA Today noted that one video saying folks should be getting $8,000 checks was viewed more than 5 million times.

Don't forget, these are the same high-powered intellectuals who truly believed The Lyin’ King was going to bring down the cost of eggs.

WHAT WILL MAGGATS BUY WITH $8,000?

There are so many wonderful possibilities

Or if that doesn't strike your fascist fancy, you can actually purchase a sprocket from a Panzer tank. Please note however, that it is “Pre-Owned”. Important information for the kind of folks who need directions on how to use bottled water. Shipping is only $2,495. But the price has been reduced. 22 Repuglican Senators are watching this item.

LET’S SAY…

That you're looking for something a little more useful when martial law is declared. You can actually purchase a small army.

Worldwide, about 40 million people were estimated to be trapped as slaves in 2016.

LONDON (Thomson Reuters Foundation) - The average modern-day slave is sold for $90-100 said Kevin Bales, Professor of Contemporary Slavery at Britain's University of Nottingham. "There has been a collapse in the price of slaves over the last 50 years, glutting the world with potentially enslavable people".

At a hundred dollars a pop, that's 80 slaves. (I did the math for you).

When the Mushroom Mussolini organized his tourism mob to stroll through the Capitol there were just a little over 2000 of them. Just think how many more desks they could've taken a dump on with the amount of additional “patriots”.

OR…

If high-fashion is more your style, then you may be disappointed to know that if you are a couple, and had $16,000 between you, you could purchase the Army and buy a few of them a watch, but it's not going to be this beauty, as it sold out.

I do believe, however, that President Treasonweasel would not be all that pleased by implying that he was “…crafted from the powerful stone of real black onyx”.

BUT IN THE END…

“Smart money” will be purchasing a long-term investment that will ensure their families financial future:

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